Murder in the MidWest
by Brittana
Summary: An old friend's mysterious wife appears at Mark's door after the death of her husband. Is Jesse or Steve fighting over her affections? Is Steve having trouble he won't tell his father about? Can Mark solve a possible murder of his friend? Chap 10 & 11 up
1. The invitation

Disclaminer: DM doesn't belong to me, neither does any of the characters. Thanks for letting me borrow.

A/N: I'm still in college right now so it may take me awhile to upload. I'll try to do my best.

**Murder in the Mid-West**

Far out in the mid-west, the winter air seemed to freeze her nose hairs. As she stepped out of her ranch house she couldn't help but looked out over her small piece of property.

The sight made her shake slightly. Everything was covered in white ice, a foot of gathered snowflakes--with more on order, still slowly falling to its melting doom. People in town would say it was beautiful, just in time for making the perfect winter wonderland for Christmas. But Amilie would never feel that way about snow again. Not since he had left. All she felt was emptiness and the snow had only revealed to her how barren and vast the land was. There was nothing here for her, nothing without him.

He had loved his ranch, this Amilie knew. He loved it so much that she had almost left him because of it. The land had claimed him and it was her fault. She couldn't get rid of the guilt. Everyone in town didn't blame her for what happened. It was an accident but it still hurt and the winter came all the same, reminding her of the awful tragedy.

Hesitantly, Amilie turned back into the house. In her hand she clutched the heavy paper letter and envelope. It was from a friend of her husband who had written her a year ago. One year ago from Robert's funeral.

_Dear Mrs. Dowell,_

_I know we haven't formally met but I wanted to give my condolences to your recent loss. Robert's father was a good friend of mine and I knew Robert since he was twelve years old. If you need anything, anything at all, someone to talk to, help around the ranch, financial needs, or just a place to get away. Let me know. I owe it to Robert and to your father in-law._

_Sincerely,_

_Mark Sloan _

The older man lived in Las Angeles and Amilie treasured the thought for a little while. Sunny California seemed so far away from Iowa and a lot warmer. It would be just perfect for her. The chance she needed to forget what happened a year ago. That is, if Mark Sloan still didn't mind offering his help.

**_ooooooooo_**

Mark Sloan's house was not shabby during the holidays. In fact Mark was very proud of the way he and Steve, his son, had decorated the tree this year. It was a 9 foot artificial tree, first artificial tree that Steve had actually liked when they had looked for one a long time ago. It took several days and many stores before Steve had finally let him buy that one. Mark smiled remember how Steve would stare at a tree for a couple of seconds and then shake no, before moving on. He had only been ten, but he was very specific about the tree he wanted. Mark didn't mind, anything to make Steve feel like Christmas was good, even without his mother around. The tree had stayed in the family since. It was a good reminder of fun times where father and son strung the tinsel and put the star on.

Conversations from the living room filled Mark's home as he finished making the hot chocolate. Steve, Amanda Bentley, and Jesse Travis were over and celebrating Christmas together before the holidays made things busy for them all. They were a very close group of doctors, plus Steve, who was a detective for the LAPD. Getting together for the Christmas gift exchange was important, if not the highlight of Christmas traditions for them.

"It feels funny having Christmas so soon. I mean it's not even the 15th." Jesse commented as Amanda handed him a small package from the tree. Mark laughed coming into the room and setting the cocoa on the coffee table.

"Well, Amanda is heading out of town for family this Christmas, and you are working double shifts, remember?" Mark pointed out to the short, blonde haired doctor.

"Double shifts, Jesse? Don't you have family to visit?" Amanda looked at him accusingly.

"Well that is the whole idea, if I have double shifts I have a reason not to visit family." Jesse smiled at them both. But Mark knew he was telling the truth. Jesse didn't exactly get along with his parents.

"At least you can avoid them some how. I don't get that option." Steve teased biting into a gingerbread cookie.

"I can still take your Christmas gift back to the store." Mark threatened and handed Amanda her gift from him. They had all decided this year to do a white elephant gift exchange instead of real gifts. All they really wanted for Christmas was to laugh together and so they had made the agreement early on that month.

"Amanda, why don't you open yours first, from me?" Steve smiled slyly. Amanda looked at him funny.

"It doesn't breathe, right?"

"Scout's honor."

Amanda slowly opened the large box and pulled away the wrapping and tissue paper. She laughed out loud as she pulled out a 'singing bass'. "Oh great… its motion censored too. C.J. and Dion will just love that."

"What is this, Jesse?" Mark asked holding up the gift Jess gave him.

"Oh!" Jesse jumped from his seat and came over. "It's called the impossible puzzle; it has no sides and five extra pieces that don't go anywhere. See, it's a picture of the beach. They had another one with dogs and umbrellas but I thought you'd like this one more."

"How very thoughtful…" Mark smiled and shook his head. He would probably actually take the time to do the puzzle just for fun. The phone rang and Steve jumped. Mark frowned. His son was a little more jumpy lately for some reason and he didn't know why, it could be a case he was working on but Steve wouldn't tell him what his latest case was. Amanda grabbed the phone sitting on the table next to her.

"Sloan residence… just one moment please." Amanda handed the cordless phone to Mark. "It's for you, Mark."

"Thanks, Amanda." Mark answered. "Hello…"

"Hello? Dr. Sloan?" A young female voice came over the phone. "I don't mean to bother you. Perhaps you don't even remember my name. This is Amilie Dowell, Robert Dowell's wife."

"Oh, Amilie… just one moment." Mark excused himself from his house guests and moved into the dining room. "How are you? I'm really glad you called, I was worried you never received my letter."

"Actually, Dr. Sloan, your letter is why I called."

**_oooooooo_**

Steve couldn't help but chuckle at the look on Jesse's face when he opened his gift. Jesse pulled out a pair of blue hand gloves that were made of a sponge. "What in the world, Steve?" Jesse laughed.

"They are shower gloves. I saw them at Target and I couldn't help myself. You'll see I also gave you soap."

"What are you trying to say?" Jesse looked at him accusingly.

"What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean…"

"What do you mean I know what you mean?"

"Just open your present Steve… " Jesse stuck his tongue out at him. Steve opened his gift and smiled.

"First season of Lost in Space. Yes!" Steve laughed. "You're watching this with me."

"I don't know if I can handle the corniness…"

"Well, we put up with you." Amanda giggled and threw a ball of rolled up paper at Jesse.

"Haa haa haa guys." Jesse turned to smirk at Amanda and Steve hit him in the back of his head with another ball of rolled up wrapping paper. Steve looked up as he heard his father's steps coming back into the room. Everyone got silent.

"Who was on the phone?" Steve asked.

"An old friend's wife. You remember George Dowell? His son Robert Dowell?" His dad took a seat in his chair.

"Yea, your old army friend. His son was about my age right?"

"Yes." His father ran a hand over his face. Steve could tell he was a little sad. "Robert died last year from an accident that happened on their ranch in Iowa. I told his wife she could call me if she needed anything. It seems she needs to get away from the ranch for awhile. I invited her to come stay with us as long as she needs."

"When is she coming down?"

"A week. She'll be here before Christmas. I've never met her before, but she sounded really sweet on the phone. I'll need to clear some things from the guest bedroom if you have time Steve."

"I wish I could say I did. But I'll see what I can do." Steve commented. He was thinking about all the paper work that came with the holiday crimes he was working on.

"I can help Mark if you need something." Jesse offered.

"Me too Mark." Amanda smiled. "Well, at least until I have to head out to meet my family. Besides… it would be really nice to have another girl around here. I get lonely, you know."

"Thank you, everyone. I don't know what I would do without you guys."


	2. Settling In

**A/N: **I just wanted to say, thank you for reviewing. I am a huge Jesse fan and I hope to have a lot of him in this episode. I know this is a lot sooner then I planned for a chapter update but I have a four day weekend, so enjoy! I will eventually get another chapter up in a week or so.

The knock at the door was soft and Amilie knew who it was before opening it. "Heya Jake." She opened the door only a crack. It was warm in the house and opening it further would let all the heat out. Besides she didn't really want someone coming by to see her packing, the more secret her vacation would be the better. If news spread around town that she was heading out her mother would be on her as fast as anyone asking if she was ok. Amilie didn't want any more sympathies from anyone, especially her mother. "What do you want?"

"Just checking on ya, Mrs. Dowell. Didn't want ya snowed in or nothing. Do you need help putting chains on ya truck?" Jake jerked his head in the direction where the truck was. He was a nice boy, a good neighbor and very helpful since Robert's accident.

"Actually Jake, I could do with some of your kindness. I plan on taking a drive here soon." Amilie smiled at him and Jake nodded. "Why don't you handle the chains and then come in for some coffee."

"Sure thing ma'am." Amilie closed the door and wrapped her robe around her tightly. She looked at her pack suitcase and nodded. _Sunny California, here I come._

**oooooooo**

Steve waited outside the door of the pathology lab in Community General. He was patiently hoping to catch Amanda before she went to take care of the body he brought in. His partner had rolled in the body just minutes before Amanda's shift was going to start. Of course the body could have been processed anywhere else but Steve had insisted that Amanda be the one to do it. Watching anxiously the elevator doors opened and Amanda came through with a clip board in her hand. He stood and she looked at him confused.

"Steve… What are you doing here?" She pulled her keys out to open the path lab and Steve stopped her.

"It's unlocked." He opened the door for her and put his hand on the small of her back guiding her in. Steve closed the door behind him and stepped next to her. There was a covered body on a stretcher, covered with a blue sheet.

"You want to tell me who this is Steve?" Amanda motioned to the body and reached for the sheet. He stopped her again.

"Amanda, before you look I need this to stay confidential. Even from my father." He looked at her with all the seriousness he could master. In his heart he hated the feeling he was keeping this from his dad, his father had always been a good consultant for the police department and the best of friend. He had an eye for things that people missed and his medical knowledge was always a plus. Steve had always presumed that detective work ran in his family's blood.

"From Mark? Who is it?" Amanda pulled back the cover and gasped. She quickly pulled the cover back over the corpse's face.

"He was found in his cell, choked himself with his sheet. He left this letter. I was wondering if you could do an autopsy on him."

"If you know how he died, why do an autopsy?" Amanda asked furrowing her brows and pulling the covers back again. Steve looked at the body silently, his eyes glued for reasons he didn't know. "You don't think he committed suicide?"

"I'm not sure."

"Steve, you obviously have something you aren't telling me." Amanda was very perceptive in many ways. Whether it was her motherly instincts or because she knew him for so long he didn't know. He handed her the file in his hand.

"It's his suicide note. He blames my dad for his depression and his final decision."

"Steve, if you think that Mark is going to blame himself for this death then you are wrong. Mark knows that Carter Sweeney hates him and would do anything to make him feel guilty for his father's death."

"I know Amanda. But my dad has enough on his plate. I rather not bring up the Sweeney's at Christmas and especially since he is getting ready for our new house guest. Please, just do the autopsy and keep this between you and me?" Steve gave her a smart look and put a hand on her back.

"Ok Steve. But Mark will find out sooner or later that Carter Sweeney has died in prison."

**oooooooo**

"Jess, just take theses to the good will and those Steve will carry up into the attic." Mark pointed to the last view boxes sitting in the hall. The young man nodded and picked one up to haul out to his car. The vacuum was roaring in the guest bedroom and Mark smiled. Amanda had brought the boys over to help. Dion was vacuuming and C. J. was helping his mom scrub up the small bathroom. The job was almost finished and boy was he grateful. Mark took a seat on the sofa for a minute and unbuttoned the top button on his shirt. He was tired.

"Kid's already getting to you Mark?" Amanda smiled and poked him.

"Oh no, not at all, I'm just taking a small break. I owe you, the boys, and Jess a nice dinner after this. What do you want?" Mark's eyes twinkled. He loved cooking for Amanda but Jesse still ate like a teenager. Cooking in bulk wasn't as hard to do as remembering to grocery shop in bulk.

"Hmmm… I could really go for some chicken Alfredo. The boys will eat it too."

"Ok then. Chicken Alfredo it is. When do you and the boys leave?"

"Tuesday. When does Amilie come?"

"I pick her up tomorrow at the airport." Mark became silent thinking about the young woman and her circumstance, it seemed such a shame that her husband would die so early. Amanda picked up on his demeanor and put a hand on his arm.

"Mark, do you want me to take her out when she comes? Show her a little bit of LA? Do some girl talk?"

"I think she would love that." Mark looked puzzled for a little bit. "You know I was never told how Robert died and it just makes me wonder why it took her so long to decide to leave the ranch. I don't know… Robert's father was a good friend of mine and anything I can do to help his relatives I plan to."

"I'm sure you'll enjoy having another woman around." Amanda chuckled.

"I'm sure you'll make her feel comfortable Amanda."

**oooooooo**

"I love Italian!"

"Jesse, you love any food."

"Not true, I don't love broccoli." A napkin was flown in the air at the young doctor. Jesse ducked but the paper napkin clung to his shoulder. A smirking Steve sat across from him waiting for the food to be served. Amanda gave them both sour stares and they stopped.

"So Steve, how is Gabriella?" Mark inquired of his son as he started passing the pasta.

"Good." Steve replied shrugging. Jesse knew that things weren't going well with Steve and his recent girlfriend but he didn't say anything. If Steve wanted to tell his father later in private then he would.

Jesse took seconds and thought about thirds but decided against it. He would regret overindulging later, even though Mark's cooking was excellent. The phone rang and excused himself to get it. Jesse stared outside at the waves crashing against the beach. Oh how he wished it wasn't getting dark. He would go down into Steve's part of the house and get his surf gear on…

"Uncle Jess?" A little voice inquired. "Uncle Jess?" Jesse snapped back to reality.

"Yes, C. J…"

"Can you pass me the garlic bread?" The boy pointed over him and Jesse smiled handing him the bread. He really cared about Amanda's boys. Dion was a good kid but CJ also held a special area in Jesse's heart that couldn't be replaced.

"Here you are kiddo. Finish your broccoli." He ruffled the CJ's hat.

"But you didn't finish yours uncl-"

"That's because I'm too old for broccoli."

"Jesse, what are you telling my child?" Amanda glared at him but then smiled. Jesse picked up his broccoli with his fork and ate it. Mark came back in the room and sat down again.

"That was Amilie, her flight was changed. It seems she needs to be picked up at 8am instead of 2 in the afternoon. I can't pick her up because of I have a surgery scheduled then." Mark sighed. "I told her she might have to wait until I'm done with the surgery before picking her up."

"I'll do it for you Mark." Jesse piped up. "I have tomorrow off."

"Really? Great!" Mark smiled. "Just take her back here and help her settle in. I'll be back to the house around noon." There was no harm in him taking a couple hours to help an older lady. Besides any friend of Mark's was a friend of his for all he was concerned.


	3. The Arrival

A/N: I wanted to apologize for writing hardly any action at all. Believe me its coming. I know there is a lot of dialogue butI've never been one to rush my mind's working and I write as it comes. Even part is essential I promise you. Sorry if it's boring. Anyway I'm happy I'm able to update this story again with some more content. I've already started working on the next chapter and I'm enjoying it. Hopefully you guys will too.

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The flight wasn't long but for Amilie it seemed like it was decades. She had never ridden in a plane before, in fact she hadn't gone anywhere outside of Iowa in her life. Her head was pounding and she pressed it against the cold window by her seat.

What was she doing? Why was she going to LA? Was it because she was tired of the same old landscape, the same flower print blinds that displayed the barn from the kitchen? It hurt to hear the kettle whistle on the stove and screen door chatter on windy days. The ranch was hard to take care of all by herself and there seemed no reason to keep care of it. Amilie hated the ranch; she hated what it represented to her and her marriage with Robert. The day of the fight came back like a wave as she stared down at the clouds from the window.

"_I need to make sure the cows and horses and tucked in tonight." Robert had said slipping on his heavy work coat._

"_Always more work to do. Robert, it's cold out there and there ain't nothin' you can do for them tonight that can't be taken care of in the morning." She had just finished dinner for him. He glanced at her._

"_You know, Amilie, the ranch is our livelihood. I can't wait till tomorrow." He opened the door but stopped when Amilie had thrown a plate on the floor. She turned away and looked down into the sink. Robert had pulled back and come to her side._

"_What is wrong?"_

"_Ya know what is wrong. It's been wrong for a year or so. I can't take it anymore, Robert. The ranch isn't going well. We are going to lose her… Why can't you see that?" She yelled at him too loudly and his stare iced. _

"_That isn't true. We've only fallen into a small pothole right now. We'll pull ourselves out."_

"_I'm not going to wait until there ain't anything in my pockets before I give up this land, Robert. Why don't you sell it to Mr. Holland? He has offered you a lot of money for it." Amilie looked at him anxiously._

"_I'm not selling my land." Robert pulled away from her and went to the door again. She could tell he was upset._

"_Robert, you need to decide…" She looked at him seriously. "It's the ranch or me. Momma has already promised I could stay with her." Robert didn't answer her but huffed before shutting the door closed loudly. That was the last time she talked to him._

A small tear lost its way from her eye and ran down her cheek. Slowly, the plane was descending. Her breath caught slightly in her mouth. Away… finally away from that wretched ranch.

**oooooooo**

Jesse looked at his watch and the large digital arrival board. With Amilie's plane delayed already by fifty minutes, he was getting anxious. The number on the baggage claim showed Amilie's flight and Jesse was relieved. Soon she would be coming to pick it up. The sign he made was crushed a little from him accidentally sitting on it a half hour ago. It read, "Emily Dowell". Jesse picked it up and stood at the entrance of the baggage claim. He looked at the faces of the elder ladies walking by, nodding, but none stopped.

"Ya be lookin' for a Emily Dowell?" A beautiful blonde, slender woman asked him, putting her suitcase in front of Jesse and tipping her cowgirl hat. Jesse looked confused.

"Emily Dowell?" He voice squeaked slightly for some reason. The woman laughed a little.

"It's Amilie. With an 'Am' sound. But yes. I think you found her." She put out her hand and Jesse shook it. He blinked twice.

"I'm sorry...I guess when Mark mentioned you were a friend of his I thought… well, I thought…" Jesse blushed slightly. "I thought you were around his age."

"Oh, I see." The woman smirked. "Well I'm sorry I'm not what you expected. You certainly aren't Dr. Sloan then."

"No…" He picked up her suitcase. "He did ask me to help you settle in. I'll be taking you to the beach house in Malibu. Mark will be meeting us for lunch."

"Thank you…" Amilie looked awkward.

"Jesse Travis. But you can call me Jesse or Jess."

"Thank you, Jesse."

**oooooooo**

Steve walked into the path lab, hoping that his father wouldn't be on the floor and see him. His insides tore at him about the decision he made to keep the death and suicide note a secret from his father. Amanda had told him on the phone that he wasn't going to like the autopsy results, and maybe she was right. If she didn't come up with anything then Carter really did kill himself because of his father, and Steve knew his dad was sensitive in certain areas because of Carter. Carter had tried to play with his father's mind and it almost worked. Steve didn't want that to happen again.

"Come in, Steve…" Amanda glanced at him the door way. She had finished Carter's body and it had been picked up by the department already. In her arm was a blue folder marked 'Sweeney, Carter' on it, which she handed to him as he walked towards her. "Nothing. He died because he cut off his air ways. I couldn't find anything else on the body besides some hair and dandruff. He had a small cut on his wrist, from something I couldn't figure out. My guess it was from a prior attempt that didn't work out."

"Thanks, Amanda." Steve sighed. "I don't know what I was hoping to find out, but this could come in handy later."

"You're welcome, Steve. You going to release the information to the press about Carter's death?"

"I'm going to have to. I can't keep it quiet much longer. The suicide note will not be released." Steve looked at Amanda and they shared silence that both of them understood. His dad wouldn't find out about the note. Not yet anyway.

**oooooooo**

"Wow, the ocean is beautiful." Amilie stepped out unto the sun deck and looked at the large waves crashing down on the sandy shores. Jesse watched as she slowly took off her sweater to be more comfortable in the heat. "Sure is different in weather here. Right now in Iowa we got four feet of snow."

"I know what you mean. I grew up in Minnesota." Jesse handed her an ice tea.

"Minnesota? No kiddin'? What are you doin' out here then?" She looked back at him surprised, her accent seemed thick to Jesse.

"I went to medical school, got an internship at Community General, made lots of friends, and plus I like it here, a lot. I feel like my real family is here. Mark is a real great guy."

"I know." Her hands fumbled a little with her tea. "He has been very generous to me. I can't wait to finally meet him. Robert told me so much about him."

Jesse heard a familiar soft click from inside the beach house and grinned. "Well you'll soon meet him. He is here…" He pointed toward the French doors and Mark's shape could be made from inside.

"Jesse?" Mark called out. Amilie walked in and approached the doctor; Jesse was glad that Mark was there. As much as it was very pleasant to play host to the country girl he was running out of things to talk about after exchanging the usual clichés.

"Dr. Sloan, your home, its beautiful." Jesse watched Amilie shake Mark's hand warmly and her face was lit with appreciation. _She is gorgeous_, Jesse thought before blushing at his own thoughts. He tucked away the fact for later. _She is widowed recently._ The last thing on her mind would be another relationship.

"Please, just call me Mark, Amilie. How was your flight?" Mark's eyes twinkled when he heard Amilie speak. Jesse's guess was because her accent was strong and ditzy in a way, but for some reason the drawl was very appropriate for her.

"It was… ok." She hesitated. "But I've never been on a plane before. It's warm here… I like that a lot."

"That is good to hear. Why don't I take you out to lunch? Jesse, you are welcome to come along too." Mark looked over at Jesse.

"Thanks anyway, Mark, but I was planning to drop by BBQ Bob's later today to sort out some stuff there. It was a pleasure meeting you, Amilie." Jesse reached out for her hand and could feel the wedding ring on her finger.

"You too. I bet we'd be meetin' again soon." Jesse sure hoped so.


	4. Dreams

**A/N: another weekend, another chapter. Hope you enjoy it. I'll be working on the next chapter here soon. **

**Chapter 4-Dreams**

Jesse looked down at his pocket where he felt his phone vibrating. Being a doctor and a friend of a police detective, he quickly reached into and took it out. His eyes closed tight in agony at the number and slumped down into the leather seat of his mustang. _Why now?_ If he didn't answer the phone she would probably call again, if not his cell phone then BBQ Bob's and the hospital.

"Hello," Jesse answered the phone, acting cheery.

"Jesse! Did you get the message I left at your apartment yesterday?" the voice was all too familiar and it made him unconsciously flinch.

"Yes, mom. I did. I guess I forgot to call back. I can't come over for Christmas." He tried to voice himself to sound disappointed.

"But your cousins are all coming. They have busy lives too, but they knew how important Christmas was to the family and so they planned to take it off." The tone his mother's voice turned to made Jesse feel like he was thirteen again.

"Mom, the hospital is open 24/7. It's not like I could close up the ER and come down there. I'm already covering shifts on Christmas day and Christmas Eve for people who are sick."

"Well, Jesse, that is fine. I just wish you had taken the position I offered you here at home so things like this wouldn't happen. Private practices have their benefits you know."

"Believe me mom, I've heard about it." Jesse knew his tone was too sarcastic when his mother's end of the conversation stopped.

"Fine Jesse. I'll send you your Christmas present though the mail." With that she hung up and Jesse shook his head. _Why did family have to be so complicated? _Jesse didn't mind spending Christmas at the hospital. It was better then spending it with his family and ten times better then spending it alone. Mark and Steve would have never let him spend it alone, though. They would have invited him over and even if Jesse had gotten Christmas off, he would feel he was invading on some private time that Mark had scheduled with his friend, Amilie.

Jesse started his car and headed to the restaurant, for some reason he knew his mother would call there to leave a message just for him.

**oooooooo**

"Gabby, listen to me…" Steve held the phone to his ear with two hands trying to stop the wind on the beach from muffling his conversation. "Look, so I didn't want to go to the ballet. Have you ever taken me up on a trip camping? ... What is that suppose to mean? … So we have a little bit of differences in taste, we can work though that … Gabby, she is just my partner, we do stake outs all the time, we are close friends… you know Gab, maybe we should take a vacation… no… not together I mean from…" Steve held the phone away from his ear for a few seconds as Gabriella's voice got louder. Once upon a time she had been a very nice girl. However three months after he had begun dating her, she started planning a wedding, and he backed off.

Ever since then it seemed like she was giving him things to do just to test his love for her, and Steve was tired of it. He cared for her a lot but she was moving too fast for even him, and he didn't know how to break the news to her. "Gabby, I'm getting off now. Call me tomorrow." Steve heard her mumble an ok before he snapped the phone together and put it in his pocket. He blushed slightly, noticing a thin blonde in a bathing suit just coming out of the water. She was smirking at him.

"You should've just told her." The blonde remarked, nodding toward his phone.

"Told her what?" Steve asked trying to remember if she lived around here or not.

"Told her it wasn't workin'." The woman had an accent and it made Steve grin.

"Was I that obvious?"

"Yep, but I still don't think she gets the picture by the sounds of it."

"You're not from around here? Are you?"

"Nope." She looked him over, and Steve felt it. He couldn't help but watch her squeeze out the water from her hair with her towel. "I haven't swam in ages in the ocean. It's very refreshing."

"I agree. I surf, it is even more refreshing. The waves here are excellent."

"Surfing, now that sounds like something I've never done."

"You wanna learn?" Steve took the opportunity while he could. "I don't know how long you plan to stay but…"

"Oh, that would be great. Thank you. I'm Amilie, I'm staying with Dr. Sloan over in that house…" She pointed to Steve's house and Steve paled slightly. "If you need to get me, I'll be there."

"Well, I think we are closer neighbors then I thought. I'm Steve Sloan. I live on the bottom apartment of the beach house." He put a hand out to shake hers and he noticed her blushing.

"Why, I should've recognized you." She giggled and shook his hand. "Mark has told me much about you over lunch."

"Hopefully all good things…" Steve laughed and started walking with her back to the house.

"Only the very best from a proud father."

oooooooo

Mark sat at the coffee table; the puzzle from Jesse sprawled out over the wooden surface. He was sorting them one by one into sand, water, and sky, trying to figure out where to start. Suddenly he heard voices coming up on the porch and he remembered he had locked the door earlier. Mark stood to get up and his knee hit the coffee table sending the pieces flying. "Oh dear…" He looked at the puzzle, irked by his own faults. A knock at the glass door stopped him before he bent to pick them up. "Oh, Steve…" Mark looked up and saw he was with Amilie, he smiled. His hand reached over for the door and unlocked it, letting in his son and guest.

"What happened here?" Steve's smile pointed toward the puzzle.

"My own clumsiness, I'm afraid."

"I'll help you pick it up." Steve went over and picked up some of the pieces on the floor and put them into the box on the couch.

"Let me help too," Amilie said and walked over with Mark to assist.

"I see you two have met." Mark inquired.

"You could say that, yes…" Steve smirked.

"Steve said he is going to teach me to surf." They both laughed and Mark shook his head but grinned.

"Well, I'm glad you two are getting along."

oooooooo

Amilie sat at the end of the bed looking out the window at the sun setting slowly in the west. Close to her heart was apiece of cloth pressed against her chest with her right hand. She could smell it. The smell of _him_, the scent he had carried everyday with that same old jacket and torn up boots. An image of his face crossed her mind and she closed her eyes…

_Struggle… fear… they were on his face as he was tearing things apart in the barn. What was wrong with him? He looked over to her and ran at her, reached for her hair. _

A yelp escaped her lips and she dropped the piece of clothing on the ground standing. Amilie turned on the lights in the bedroom as it was getting dark. What had she just remembered? Her heart was pounding slightly and she wrapped her robe closer around her shoulders. Today had been such a good day. It wasn't like her to daydream nightmares. Mark Sloan had been so kind to her, letting her stay at his home; it was a beautiful place. The beaches were beautiful and the people very friendly, especially Mark's son, Steve. He was very sweet to her and Amilie didn't mind it. She was lonely; she would admit it, lonely for a long time now.

Her choice to stay at the ranch instead of move in with her mother had been a mistake. But Amilie was tired of all the phone calls, of all the visits and she couldn't imagine what it would have been like living again with the woman. It felt great being away from the ranch for awhile. Never had salt air smelt like freedom. Maybe she was finally going to let what happened in Iowa become memories, a good memory. She and Robert had a good life together and he was a pretty good provider. Things were really taken care of after he died, and it helped that his father had given him a trust fund. Amilie couldn't imagine taking care of the ranch with out it.

There was a soft knock at her door and she didn't move to open it right away. Her hand reached down and picked up the cloth and put it in the side drawer of the night stand. "Come in…" She said fixing a smile on her face.

"Amilie," Mark said, opening the door slowly and standing just in the door way politely. "I will be going to the hospital tomorrow for my shift and I was thinking you'd like to be taken to some of the sites around here. My friend Amanda Bentley wanted to plan a girl's day out with you. Lunch and some shopping…"

"That sounds very relaxing. Thank ya, Dr. Sloan." Amilie nodded to him and he seemed excited about her answer.

"Great! I'll have her pick you up here around noon. Will that be ok?"

"That will be just fine." Amilie said and waited for him to slip back out, silently closing the door behind him. She frowned slightly and sat on her bed and dwelt on a serious question that women always ask themselves before social events. _What am I going to wear?_


	5. Curiosity

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**A/N:** Hey guys! Sorry it's been months! But I hope you enjoy that I've updated three whole chapters. I know it's still moving very slowly but it will get interesting I promise. I have also finished Chapter 8 & 9. I just need to send them to my beta reader. Sorry if we both missed typos or if I worded something awkwardly.

**Chapter 5-Curiosity**

When Amanda first met Amilie, she was charmed. The girl was gorgeous and young, with a sweet country accent that Amanda wasn't used to, but admired. Her demeanor gave off an energetic vibe that made Amanda wonder about her past. Mark had mentioned her husband had died; it must have been nice to escape her old surroundings.

Amilie was slipping into Amanda's car and admiring it with her mouth open. "Does everyone has such luxury vehicles here? I mean ya always hear in Iowa that Hollywood is where gold is given as tips."

"Don't believe everything you hear. This car I'm still paying for. I couldn't afford to have it all to myself yet." Amanda smiled and pulled away from the curb into traffic. "We're going to Beverly Center today. It's a huge mall, you'll love it. We'll have lunch and everything."

"This is awfully nice of you Amanda. I haven't done a girls' day in awhile. Most of my friends have smothered me in the last year. I can't stand to be around them sometimes." Amilie sighed.

"Is it still hard? Thinking about your husband?" Amanda wanted to test how sensitive Amilie was to the subject. She didn't know if she was to walk around the topic, or be on egg shells the whole trip.

"Robert? I know he is dead. There isn't anything I can do to bring him back. I've wanted to move on with my life for a while, but I guess most the people in town still think I'm crying into my pillow at night." Amilie glanced at Amanda. "You ever lose someone that close?"

Amanda felt a chill go down her back. "Yes…" She suddenly understood exactly where the woman was coming from. "My ex-husband was killed in a plane crash. We were… separated but it wasn't like I didn't care. In many ways I know I still loved him. Our lives just took two different paths."

"I know what you mean. I didn't have the perfect marriage. There were days I thought Robert loved that miserable ranch more then me." Amilie shifted in her seat and watched the view out the window.

"How did he die?" Amanda couldn't stop her curiosity anymore. Amilie didn't show that she heard Amanda and the conversation just sat for awhile.

"It was really snowing when he decided to go and check on the cattle. He didn't come back and I called a couple friends to go out and find him. All they found were pieces of him under the tractor. I'm not sure how it happened but sometimes it happens. Machinery goes wrong or you're spooked by wild animals and it ends up the end of your life… and your livelihood." She sighed again. "My best friend in high school got her leg ran over by her daddy's plough and had a limp for the rest of her life. She was lucky she could keep the leg. I was unlucky I couldn't keep Robert."

"That's horrible…" Amanda was appalled and felt sorry for Amilie, just the feelings that Amilie was trying to get away from, people pitying her. It was time for a subject change. "There isn't any tractor work where we are going. Just pedicures and manicures…" Amanda smiled and Amilie smiled back with a grateful look. Today would be a new start for Amilie.

**oooooo**

Jesse dragged his feet up the stairs to his apartment, tired from his last shift. His foot bumped a package at his front door and he stared down at it lazily. The return address was his mother's. Jesse picked up the brown paper wrapped box and unlocked his apartment door. He put the box on his counter and threw his keys into the dish by it. Tonight seemed lonely. Only a week until Christmas and Amanda was leaving tomorrow. Steve seemed to be especially busy lately, and Mark was entertaining Amilie. He was so lonely. If Susan was still with him he would probably be spoiling her or driving her crazy with his depression during the holidays. Christmas meant nothing to him. In his mind the only good Christmas he could think of was when his dad had bought him a red bike and both of his parents had stayed up that night putting it together. They had been so tired in the morning that they had not argued-- not one time-- for the first and only time.

Jesse left the package on the counter and saw he had another message on his answering machine. He pressed play and went into the bedroom to change.

"You have two unheard messages. First unheard message." The computerized woman's voice came over the speaker.

"Hey Jesse! Did you get my package? I just wanted to check one more time and see if you were able to get someone to take over for you for Christmas break. I know its busy but it would be nice to see you this Christmas. Please..." Jesse paused as he was taking off his shirt and heard the tone in his mother's voice. It was different… but he didn't know in what way, or what it meant. "call me…" the answering machine beeped, letting him know that message had ended and the other one came on. It was Mark.

"Hey Jess! I was wondering if you could come by tomorrow, I have to go into the hospital tomorrow. Mr. Wilkes passed away and I need to check up with his family. Could you come keep Amilie company? Maybe work on that puzzle you gave me? I got it started but Amilie has really been going to town on it. Bring some BBQ Bob's, she has been dying to try it! Just call me back and let me know if you can. If you can't I'll try and talk Steve into working from home."

"End of messages."

Jesses smiled. Amilie. He felt his blood warm a little and it made him blush. Since he had helped Mark out a week ago he couldn't get the girl out of his mind. He would definitely take Mark up on entertaining her.

**oooooo**

Steve had pushed aside releasing the information to the public but now it was out of his hands. The chief had given the story to the TV stations and soon it would be on the nightly news that Carter Sweeny was dead. Hoping that the station would assume the man's death was not newsworthy was stupid. Carter had blown up buildings, was a radio hero for a long time, and then a rebel to the government—releasing tapes of conspiracy. Conspiracy that he had dragged Steve's father into. The news would definitely use the story and do several follow ups as well. Which meant people would bother Steve and his father. Steve didn't like that idea one bit, especially during the holidays.

The one thing that bothered him the most was the silence on Caitlin Carter's side. When she was told about her brother she had not even blinked an eye, just sat in her cell and stared in fury at Steve. Visiting her had not been a good idea on his part. To Steve it seemed like Caitlin had lost her mind, her cell had become a place of mental torment. Drawings and graffiti were everywhere with the name of 'Sloan' inscribed on every one. His father had always said that he thought the Sweeneys suffered from some sort of mental condition but it was getting worse in Caitlin's case. The women's prison had to confine her to isolation where no one else could get hurt because she had choked an inmate to the point of hospitalization. When she was asked why she did it, Caitlin had told the guards that she didn't like the girl's hair. Steve could see the anger in her heart almost bursting out of her eye sockets, but she still had remained silent.

Before leaving the prison Steve had told the guards that any letters in or out of the jail, or even visitors, were to go by him first as part of his investigation.

There was a knock at Steve's office door.

"Come in…" Steve yelled and continued reading the press release. He glanced up to see his chief come into the small room.

"Steve, I need to talk to you about the Sweeney case."

"Yea?" Steve watched the man stand over him with authority.

"Steve, you need to leave it be. I've let you dragged this case through the mud so you could find dirt on it because of what happened last time you encountered this man. But it's time to close it." His chief studied him and sadly Steve understood the man's position.

"I know… I just hate closing the case with my father's name in it. My father's name on his death."

"I can respect that, but your father is all over this man's case. You can't change the facts about that. Look… you've been working yourself too hard. Take a couple days off. I know it's busy but we'll call you if we can't handle it." Steve sighed and put the file down.

"I don't want a couple days off. I'll close the case, I'll be fine." Steve smirked and put the file closed on the table. The chief smiled at him.

"Thatta a boy."

**oooooo**

"Hey Jess, come on in." Mark grinned at Jesse and Jesse held up the bag that was dripping a bit with its hot contents.

"As ordered, BBQ Bob's." Jesse walked in and started directing the bag to the kitchen. "Did you want some, Mark?"

"I would but I have to get going. Besides…" Mark made a face. "Too much of a good thing isn't good for me." Amilie rounded the corner catching the end of the conversation.

"That is a true statement. You're leaving now Mark?" Jesse paused as Amilie gave Mark a slight hug good bye and felt his heart flutter. He was feeling like a school boy and it was really starting to bother him. He hadn't thought about getting together with anyone since Susan left him; but now looking at Amilie, he couldn't help but be charmed by her. Mark left without even Jesse noticing it. It seemed suddenly quiet in the house as Jesse started unpacking the food.

"That smells so good." Amilie commented, meeting him in the kitchen.

"Our secret recipe. Steve and I keep it between us and a couple other trusted employees. The sauce is the best part. I'm sure you'll appreciate it more then a lot of the other tourist here." Jesse put a plate out for her at the table and opened the container of food for her.

"Is it hot? I like it hot." Amilie asked, the smile she flashed at Jesse made him catch his breath.

"It's decent. I had hotter at the Barbeques in Minnesota. My dad was the king of the grill." He put out his own food and sat at the table with her.

"Really?" She looked at him surprised. "I always thought my dad was the king too. It's like growing up on milk; even if it doesn't taste all that great, you still drink it because its what you're used to." She took a bite out of her barbeque ribs and chewed awhile. "Wow, this is pretty good. I'm impressed."

"Thanks." He was pleased with her praise and they sat for a while eating.

"Jesse, tell me about your family? Was it big, small, obnoxious?" Amilie giggled and leaned back. She felt comfortable with him… that was a relief.

"My family isn't all that interesting. My mom is a doctor has her own practice and my dad has his own… line of work. My mother and him are separated now. I looked up to my dad for a long time but I really cared more about what my mother use to think about me."

"Why is that?" Amilie looked at him sadly and Jesse felt uncomfortable for the first time. He really didn't enjoy talking about his family.

"Ah... you know… she wanted the best for me I guess. I went into medical school because of her. I thought that is what she wanted."

"But she didn't want it?"

"No." Jesse said and pulled out a soda from the bag and offered one to Amilie.

"I can understand that." Amilie took the drink. "I mean, I feel the same about my mamma. She really wants to hold me to close now that Robert is gone. So close I can't breathe. She is suffocating me and she doesn't even know. I left her a note telling her I was going on vacation but didn't tell her where."

"Who is looking at for the ranch then?" Jesse knew people who owned ranches where he was born. It was a daily hard job that had to be done or the cattle would die.

"Jake my neighbor will help. He always does. He has been doing most of the work on the ranch since Robert died. Honestly, I'm thinking about selling it." Amilie drank her soda and pushed her plate back. He noticed she didn't eat much.

"That's a big decision to make."

"I know. I won't make it lightly. I promise." For several minutes Amilie asked Jesse questions about himself and Minnesota and Jesse was surprised about how much he told her. It was like both of their worlds were similar, controlling mothers, growing up in the Midwest, the differences they adjusted to when leaving. Amilie didn't act like a widow and Jesse didn't feel like he needed to treat her like one. She was just ready to move on with her life and after Susan, so was Jesse.


	6. Puzzles

A/N: This chapter was really fun to write and it's gotten a nice plot point in it. I hope you enjoy.

**Chapter 6-Puzzles**

Mark consoled the elderly Mrs. Wilkes as she quietly sobbed into her handkerchief. "Mrs. Wilkes, he died peacefully. You and I both know how hard he fought this battle with cancer. We had to give this last treatment a try."

"I understand, Dr. Sloan. I knew it would come to this soon, I just need some time. In many ways I'm sure he is happy to finally be out of this hospital." Mrs. Wilkes wiped her eyes and touched Mark's sleeve. "I don't mean to be offensive, you have a very nice hospital, it's just he was here for so long… six months anywhere would drive any man crazy. He was a fighter though…"

"And so are you, Mrs. Wilkes. I'm certain you'll get through this transition. If you need us to call anyone for you or make any arrangements, we are happy to do so." Mark patted her hand and the woman shook her head.

"No. I can handle things just fine. Thank you, Dr. Sloan."

Mark nodded and the woman turned back towards the bed that her husband had occupied for months. Mark left her there and slipped out the door, closing it quietly behind him. He sighed, not every doctor could beat all the battle--and he knew that. He had done this so many times but it didn't get any easier. Leonard Wilkes had a chance to survive and fate decided against him. Mark rubbed his forehead and went to the doctor's lounge for some coffee. He would stay a while longer and finish up some thing at the hospital before going home. The walk to the lounge wasn't a long one and when Mark arrived he was surprised to see his son there.

"Steve, what are you doing here?" Mark said affectionately, happy to see his son. Steve's half smile made the doctor frown.

"What's wrong?"

"Have you watched the news yet?" Steve said pulling a chair out of the table and motioning for his father to sit. Mark sat confused and shook his head no. "I just wanted to be here with you when you heard it." Steve turned the TV on to the news and sat next to his father.

The newscast started with a beautiful woman sitting behind a desk finishing up a domestic violence story. Mark understood what was going on when Carter Sweeney's face flashed onto the upper corner of the screen with the word "suicide" at the bottom.

"The bomber from a year or so ago, Carter Sweeney, was discovered dead in his cell earlier this month. He was found hanging from the fixture in his cell by his bed sheet. Investigators have confirmed nothing suspicious about Sweeney's death has come up. However, there were scars on his wrists that maybe signs of earlier attempts. Police say the case has been closed until further notice. Now we'll go to Jett Barton for the sports."

Steve turned off the set and looked over at his father. Mark didn't know what to say. "He was a sick man… what a poor ending." He shook his head and glanced at his son. "You knew about his suicide."

"Yes and I'm sorry I kept it from you."

"Steve, you don't need to keep things from me…" Mark stood and reached for a coffee cup then continued to fill it up. "I'll admit, Carter was definitely a harder character to deal with, one who used his mind controlling tricks on everyone. But I don't feel any guilt, not really at all." After filling up the cup Mark just let it sit there as he remembered the day the hospital had blown up and how he desperately worked to save Amanda's life. Carter had almost killed all of them, almost succeeding in killing his career, his son, and his friends. It was a nightmare the came to him in his dreams sometimes when he worried about Steve, or Amanda and her boys, or even Jesse.

"Dad?" Steve put his hand on his shoulder. "I know what you are trying to say."

"Oh really?" Mark half-smiled and shared a look with his son.

"Yes. Carter hurt you, a lot, he hurt a lot of people, and only Carter is responsible for his actions you aren't. Whatever Carter did, he paid for it in jail during his term and eventually with his life, and if you ask me… he is paying for it right now in the afterlife." Steve smirked and Mark shook his head.

"Yea, that is exactly what I wanted to say. Except for the last part. Coffee?" Mark handed him a cup and poured another one for himself. They both took a seat at the table again and just sat in silence for awhile. The silence might have unnerved others, but it became comforting to them both.

**oooooo**

"Jesse, that puzzle piece belongs to me." Amilie tried to grab it back.

"No it isn't, it has more water the sky and I'm working on the water." He teased her and started pushing it into a spot he thought it might fit. Amilie grabbed his hand and he wouldn't surrender it to her. A playful attitude was delivered into the air as she started climbing over the coffee table trying to pry it out of his hand. Jesse noticed that she was fairly strong and her grip was almost serious.

"Oh no.. you won't get it that easy." Amilie pushed her elbow into Jesse's chest and knocked him to the floor from his knee sitting stance. He was surprised at her eagerness and frustration with him. "Oh, you give her to me, mister. You fake accented Midwestern…"

"Oh really? I bet you listen to Bob Dylan." Jesse teased her back.

"Bob Dylan was born in Minnesota boy… I bet anything, your mamma sang you to sleep with his tunes." She grabbed the puzzle piece with both hands and now Jesse and her were in a tug-a-war.

"Talk about raising the dead…" He pulled her forward with one big thrust and she landed in his lap, with the puzzle flying everywhere. Jesse held up the piece in a victory stance and then noticed she was getting upset. Amilie obviously didn't like losing "I'm sorry…" Was all Jesse could say, he was surprised at her playful demeanor changing to anger.

"It's ok…" She said crawling off him. "I've just been workin' on this puzzle for a long time."

Jesse sat up. "Let me help you fix it up…" He reached over to pick up a bigger portion of the puzzle that was still together when Amilie grabbed his hands again, she touched them gently then leaned down and kissed him on his lips with deliberation. Jesse was very surprised and taken off guard, he must have looked like an idiot to her but Amilie was calm. While Jesse was clumsily trying to catch up with her kiss she didn't shy away from it but slowed for him to adjust.

She had changed again on him and seemed to be a woman of experience. Her lips tasting like warm peaches and yet a bit rough from weathered seasons she had lived through in Iowa. Amilie pulled him closer, still holding his hands calmly and kissed him deeper, not even worried about Jesse's nervousness. Jesse recovered himself quickly with the second kiss and kissed back with the same intensity. It wasn't like anything he was used to. Susan had always been so brutal or shy but nothing in between. Amilie seemed to give off mixed signals of who was in charge of the kiss. She'd pick up where he fell and then let him have the reins when he was ready, it was incredible.

After a couple more kisses she pulled back and blushed, the first time he had seen her shy at him tonight. "Sorry…" She reached for the puzzle and lifted up the portion he had reached for earlier and placed it back unto the coffee table.

"For what?" Jesse asked, a little self-conscious and partly enamored with her.

"I'm sorry, I've just been alone for so long and… you are the first balanced man I've met. Not too city slick and not too gung ho either. You are a nice boy Jesse…" Amilie took another breathe of recovery from their kiss and smiled. "A very nice boy."

There was a knock at the door before Jesse could say more and he smiled back at her in reply as he got up. "I'll get it." Amilie nodded and picked up more of the puzzle. Jesse straightened his hair a little from their tussle earlier and opened the door. It was Mark and Steve.

"Hey Jess." Steve came in the door and walked into the kitchen. "Is that barbeque I smell?"

"Hey Jesse, did you and Amilie have a good time?" Mark asked with a twinkle in his eye. Jesse just nodded his head.

"Lots of talk about the Midwest. I think it went ok."

"Great! Stay for dinner!" As much as Jesse wanted too, as much as he really _really_ wanted too, he couldn't.

"Oh I would if I didn't have my shift in a couple of hours. I wanted to go home and get a shower." Jesse looked back into the living room where Amilie was fixing the puzzle.

"An accident?" Mark noticed his glance.

"It happens." Jesse blushed and Mark must have mistaken it on his clumsiness.

"Oh don't I know it happens." The older man laughed.

**oooooo**

_"Amilie!" He screamed and started knocking things around in the barn. The shelves of tools banged and fell into the hay on the floor. "Get out of here, now!" Robert was yelling at her, panic was in his voice and a crazed looked glanced at her from his eyes. Amilie heard the sound of a tractor rattling loudly behind her and pressing furiously against the barn doors. She turned, hearing her own voice screaming loudly. Her hair got jerked back roughly, suddenly, and her knees buckled._

_"Robert!"_

_"Amilie! Leave now!" The tractor got louder._

"Robert!" Amilie yelled, sitting up in her bed, sweat pouring down her t-shirt she had worn to bed. Her heart was beating ten times faster than normal, and her body started to shake slightly. She threw off the covers and stood at the glass window in her room and opened it a bit. Warm sea air came into the room and she breathed it in trying to calm her burning lungs with tears streamed down her face, coating her cheeks with her fear. After several minutes Amilie realized she couldn't get the images out of her head. Cautiously she put on her robe and left her room. Perhaps a walk along the beach might be a help.


	7. Nightmares

A/N: Last chapter for now. I hope I get more to you soon.

**Chapter 7-Nightmares**

Steve woke when he heard the clanging of the doors upstairs. _Dad?_ He glanced at his clock at the side of his bed and was surprised to see it was almost 3:00am. Steve moved the covers off himself and picked up his pants and buttoned them up. He didn't worry about putting a shirt on as the night air was pretty warm and he didn't plan to be out long. But if his dad was up it could only mean one thing… Mark Sloan was more shaken by Carter's death than he first let on.

It seemed minutes ago when he'd sat next to his father and studied the older features for signs that he was disturbed. Steve had found only regret and hints of pity for the man that had once tortured both their lives and haunted their dreams afterward. The concern for his father had been so evident that his dad had told him not to worry.

"I've been over Carter for a long time. It wasn't any worse then the time you were shot Steve." Mark had smirked.

"Which time was that?" Steve winced with the reply and the conversation had mended itself. But could his father have had one of his dreams again? Mark would never find out about the times Steve had heard him yell in his sleep. It was an unearthly frustrated yell that Steve had never heard his father make before, with the older man's tone of voice and anger it had unnerved Steve a little. The dreams had ended a long time ago.

Steve walked out of his bedroom instinctively grabbing his waist holster with his gun and badge. There had been too many times something innocent in the house turned out to be dangerous. It was one of the reason Steve hadn't moved out yet, who would be there if an emergency happened to his dad?

The steps coming down from the porch seemed a lot lighter than his father's; in fact they seemed to sneak. A glimpse of a slim figure wrapped in a blanket was barely visible to Steve and he took his gun out of his holster and slowly came behind the figure as it stepped onto the sand.

"Stop right there." Steve used a firm voice and pointed his gun but realized he had startled the figure so much that a famine yelp came from it. _Amilie?_ Steve lowered his gun very relieved but embarrassed at the same time. Amilie turned around her eyes wide and her body shaking. "Amile… I'm sorry… I didn't mean to startle you. I didn't realize you were the one out here."

Amilie continued to shake her eyes only slightly revealing her relief and recognition. Steve holstered his gun and reached out for her to calm her but she pulled away. "I'm not going to hurt you…"

"I know. It's just… well… oh dear…" She shook harder and wrapped her arms around herself. Steve pulled her close and held her confused, at her behavior. He had no intention to scare her as much as he had, in fact something in his cop instincts told him it was more then his interruption in her walk. Soon she started to slowly calm down and Steve eased her out of his arms even more so aware that he hadn't slipped his shirt on.

"What are you doing out here?" He whispered it to her and continued to study her face. She was pale and her eyes were hard to read in the dark.

"I umm… needed a walk. I had a nightmare." She looked up at him and he read her expression. It was full of terror, not only a scare, or a fear, but true deep terror.

"Let me walk with you, and you tell me about it." He didn't want to threaten her independent nature so he didn't mention that she looked like she shouldn't be left alone. He put his hand on the small of her back and turned her slightly so they could walk side by side. He let her go to give her space. Amilie continued toward the water and Steve let her keep her silence as he had learned that a quiet moment allowed someone to gather their thoughts and put them into words. Once her feet touched the water she looked up at him.

"Which way is the best walk at night?" She asked.

"Let's go to the right. Most of those houses are asleep. A couple to the left like to party and I'm sure you don't want to meet up with them in your pajamas." Steve smiled and they both turned to the right. Amilie blushed a little as she looked down at her Scoopy-Doo PJ pants and a large flannel shirt she had on. Steve thought they were cute but didn't want to embarrass her anymore than she already felt. "Tell me about your dream…"

"I was in the barn with my husband Robert. He was yelling at me." She sighed and wrapped the blanket over her shoulders more. "It felt like the night he died… but different. I mean I was in the house when he had his accident, not the barn. But in my dream I was there and it felt so real. I heard the tractor and it was coming through the door and he was yelling at me and throwing stuff and then I could feel from behind my hair being pulled roughly." She started shaking again and Steve stopped frowning and stood in front of her.

"Amilie, are you sure that was a dream?" He looked directly into her eyes and she just stared back. "Amilie?" Steve noticed things about her he hadn't before in the few seconds of staring into her eyes. There were slight bruises, very hidden, very old under her eyes and kept staring. He reached up putting a hand into her hair and felt her whimper under his hands even though they were gently. Steve touched around her scalp and watched her wince slightly. "Amilie? Did Robert use to hit you?"

Steve felt Amilie's body stiffen under his touch and she pulled away her breathing exhilarating. "What do you know? He is dead, does it matter? Besides… every one has their spats with their spouses. Robert, oh Robert…" Amilie started to cry her back turned to Steve. Something inside Steve tore and he walked to her and very gently pulled her against his chest and kissed the top of her head.

"Amilie, please. Let me help. How many times have you had this dream?" She stopped crying and picked her head up to look at him.

"About six or seven times since I got here." The look she gave him made Steve fight the urge to kiss her right there.

"I want you to talk to my father tomorrow about these dreams. Your brain may be replaying a memory, not a nightmare."

"Even memories can be nightmares Steve." Amilie held him back for the first time that night and Steve leaned his head on her shoulder and kissed her neck a little, he felt her tighten but then relax and sigh into his arms. Steve moved to kiss her lips and she let him. She was so fragile in his arms and in some way he felt like he was taking advantage of her so he made the kiss short and then took her hand.

"Let's get you back to the house. You need your sleep and so do I." It was silent between them both on the way home.

**oooooo**

Amilie laid awake in her bed. The last few days had been very strange with her encounters with two amazing men. Jesse was so playful and they had so much in common, plus he was very cute. But Steve… he was strong, she could tell from tonight when he had his shirt off and she could visually see how much a cop works out. He was an ear that she felt forced to tell everything to. His presence was over powering and made her shiver in her boots just to be around him. He was definitely attracted to her and she was attracted to both the intelligent men she had met. How could things get so mixed up? She liked having the lead over Jesse in many ways. Jesse gave her power that she never had with Robert but Steve's power over her made her nervous. Robert had that tough exterior too. Robert had a lot of Steve's traits.

Tonight had been embarrassing. There had been no intention to spill her secrets to Steve or to even have his good looks swoon her. Amilie was a strong independent women who was getting over her husband's death, why did men feel sorry for her? She had gotten enough of that back in Iowa. In many ways she felt like a school girl almost drawing Steve and even Jesse's name into her mind as she thought about them. What would her mother say? Oh, her mother would have a lot to say about her behavior and being a widow and all. But Amilie realized that perhaps her mother was part of why she couldn't move on after Robert's death until now. This was the beginning of something great. She just hoped there was some way to choose without breaking one or the other's heart.

**oooooo**

Mark was surprised when he heard Amilie's recount of her dreams and Steve and her walk the night before. He had made a nice breakfast, eggs, bacon, and strawberry crepes but Amilie touched hardly any of it.

"Steve is right, Amilie. Are you sure you remember everything that happened that night?" Mark watched Steve glance at his name and then continue eating, casually looking at Amilie once in awhile.

"I don't know, Mark. I remember telling him 'it's either the ranch or me'. He was driving me crazy, the ranch hadn't been doing well and it was so late and snowy that night. I was worried for him, I had just finished making dinner too. He was just so stubborn."

"Did you follow him out?" Mark asked watching to see her close her eyes and search her own memory.

"I don't remember much after that… I guess I might have. Oh Mark, I never wanted you to think that Robert was anything less than an honorable man, he really was. He just had a temper."

"That is no reason whatsoever to hurt someone like that, especially your wife. I knew Robert had a temper ever since he was a kid. I just never realized he wouldn't grow out of it." Mark sighed and took her hand. "If you have any more dreams you come and get me or Steve. Don't be afraid of them." Mark didn't want to say that he suspected more had happened the night Robert died than Amilie realized but until he had enough clues he wouldn't go digging. At least, not yet.

"I will. Hopefully though I can still enjoy my vacation. Steve is going to teach me how to surf today." She smiled and Mark grinned back.

"Oh really? That should be interesting to see."


	8. Packages

A/N: I got these chapters back from my beta reader. I hope you like them. Sorry it's been so long. I have though reached a writer's block and may need some help. Any ideas anyone has for where they want to see the story go from here?

**Chapter 8-The Package**

Sitting slanted on the couch was the brown paper package that Jesse's mother had sent him. Jesse had forgotten all about it; in fact, he had been so tired the last few shifts that he had also forgotten to turn the water totally off in the kitchen sink. It had only been dripping several drops into a pot but leaving it for a twelve hour shift had ended up with water all over the kitchen floor. Jesse had come home to a mess and as he was cleaning it he had noticed the box still sitting unopened on the couch. The package reminded him that he hadn't heard from his mother in a few days and maybe it was good news. But something told Jesse that it wasn't normal and it gave him a weird feeling in his gut.

After cleaning up the water, Jesse sat down on the couch and pulled the package into his arms. He took out his pocket knife and cut the tape off the edges before opening the box. Inside sitting on tissue paper was a letter written in his mother's hand writing. Jesse cringed and put it aside for now as he pulled the tissue paper away. Inside was a book, the surface was a brown leather and had a window in the cover with a picture of him as a child and his mother holding him. Jesse had forgotten about that picture which had sat on his mother's office space for years. She had cut it or copied it and put it into the cover of a scrapbook. Jesse was taken back. His mother didn't scrapbook, in fact she didn't do any crafts. She was a woman of business and career and hobbies were not appealing to her.

Jesse flipped the cover and there were a few baby pictures of him and his parents. He didn't realize how many pictures of him as a child there were and he was right about there only being a few. But whatever space seemed empty his mother had written stories and memories of his childhood. Jesse closed the book, very confused, and reached for the letter next him and opened it up to read.

_Dear Jesse,_

_I had wished to tell you on the phone or at least see you in person to explain these things to you. But I was afraid. Every time we talked on the phone it didn't feel right and every time your answer machine beeped I just couldn't do it. I know things between us have been hard. In fact as I look back on our relationship I have a lot of regret and perhaps I'm starting to see how much pressure I have put on you since you were young. _

_The book I am sending to you. I've worked on it for almost six months now to have it ready for Christmas and since you couldn't come down I sped up the process of making it so you would get it in time. I'm sorry if the last few pages are a little blank compared to the others, I tried my best and I'm not that creative but I did try. I'm sure there is a lot of horrible things you remember from your childhood that I don't-- but there may also be a lot of things I remember that you forgot. I have a feeling you've forgotten a lot of the good memories and I wanted to preserve them before it was too late._

_Jesse, I don't know how to tell you this but I'm not up to par like I use to be. In fact I'm sick. Very sick. If you get this in time and understand what I mean by that I hope that you could find it in your heart to forgive and come see me before it's too late. Please… I need you at this time and I just want to put the past behind us and have you home. I'm sorry I couldn't tell you earlier. Just come home Jesse._

_With all my love,_

_Mom_

Jesse sat back in the couch and stared at the clock in front of him. After several seconds of spacing and letting his mother's words sink in he reached for the phone and dialed Mark Sloan.

oooooo

"Jesse, maybe you should come over. You don't sound that good." Mark could tell there was something wrong with his young friend, but Jesse hadn't told him-- in fact he hadn't said more then two words since he had called Mark and that concerned him.

"I don't know…" Jesse sighed for the fourth time since he was on the phone with Mark.

"Look Jesse, I don't know what is wrong but I can't help you if you don't tell me. Come over. Steve is out, Amilie is out by the water and it would be just you and me. Please."

"Ok Mark. I'll come over." Jesse hung up and it was Mark's turn to sigh.

**oooooo**

Jesse had tried calling his mother's phone but he only got her answering machine. His mom had a cell phone but she tended to leave it at home and only carry her pager. Jesse had tried the pager and then started his drive to Mark's. It had been twenty minutes and still no response. Jesse didn't want to panic but he had seen too much death, too many illnesses that people had never recovered from. He didn't know what was making his mom sick and he didn't know how bad it was all he knew was _very sick. If you get this in time and understand what I mean by that… _It was enough to put him on edge.

Somehow he didn't realize how attached he was to his family, especially his mom. He always knew he cared about her and his internal desire was to please her and make her happy it had just been rough ground the last ten years and he didn't know how to stabilize the situation. _I have a feeling you've forgotten a lot of the good memories. _There had been picture of his tenth birthday where they had gone to the zoo. Jesse was pointing at the penguins exhibit. It came back to him slowly… he remembered being so fascinated by watching the penguins smile and pop out of the water again, he had been so excited that when he turned to tell his mom about it she had snapped the photo and it had come out as a very nice candid shot. A shot of a very happy Jesse Travis.

Jesse pulled into Mark's drive way and saw the lights on in the kitchen. Quietly he shut the car door and stepped up to the door. The lights on the outside turned on automatically and before Jesse knocked he heard a shuffling inside and someone playing at the locks. Mark opened the door smiling warmly at him.

"Come in. I just made some coffee."

**oooooo**

Mark studied Jesse with a smile to clue himself into what was bothering the young man—Jesse just seemed worried and tired. The young man must have just finished a long shift at the hospital. The ER was a busy place and anyone working there for over six hours would definitely start feeling the weight of it.

"Come into the kitchen and get some… you look like you could use it." Mark guided him into a chair at the table and went to pour him a cup. "Now tell me… what is wrong?"

Mark knew Jesse looked up to him like he was a father figure. There had been many nights were Jesse would sit and talk to Mark about his work and his family, his love life. Sometimes it was hard to get the information out of the young man, but Mark knew how to milk it. Mark was a expert at that by dealing with Steve and by helping at the police station. He knew how to read a situation and people gave a lot away with just their eyes and body language.

"I got a package in the mail from my mom." Jesse said looking at the table. He was sinking into the chair; it was obvious it had been a long day for him. Mark set the cup of coffee in front of Jesse and the young man looked up at him and smiled his thanks.

"Really? A Christmas gift?" Mark suggested testing the response of Jesse. Mark's instinct was that there was a family issue. Perhaps another condescending remark or comment about not going home for Christmas.

"Yea. I got a note from her too." Jesse took a sip of the coffee and let it sink in. He needed it. "She mentioned she is really sick. Mom didn't tell me what was wrong though."

"Do you think it's serious?" Mark's concern for Jesse just went up several steps as he again studied the man's appearance. He wouldn't be here if it were the flu.

"I don't know exactly what it is but it does seem serious. She has been acting… different. She sent me a scrapbook and my mother has never been one for crafts and an apology. She has asked me to come home before but this time… it was like she was begging." Jesse's hand was clenching his cup and Mark reached out for him.

"You should go to see her, Jesse. I can't tell you that there is any other advice I can give you. If it is serious, you'll regret not going and if it isn't, it will be good for you to be put at ease. Besides if she wants to make things better between you two... it sounds to me like she is really trying."

"I have a double shift on Christmas Eve and it will move into Christmas Day as well. Marie and Allen asked me to cover for them. Marie is still recovering from her surgery and Allen is well... you know the situation with him. I don't want to take him away from his daughter, she is only here for the month."

"Jess, I can find someone to cover for you." The back door opened and Mark looked around the corner to see Amilie coming in.

"Mark?" She was looking around, leaving her sandals on the porch and wiping her feet on the mat outside.

"In the kitchen." Mark called back to her. Amilie walked over and smiled as she looked over at Jesse.

"Hey Jesse."

"Hey." Jesse answered back and Mark could tell the man's moods uplifted slightly at Amilie's entrance, a fact that Mark found interesting.

"I smell coffee."

"On the counter." Mark watched Amilie get some coffee and sit down at the table with them.

"I didn't know you were coming over, Jesse."

"I needed to talk to Mark." Jesse look into his cup and then back up putting a smile on for the company.

"Jess is most likely going back to Minnesota to visit his family." Mark glanced at Jesse hoping that the boy would take him up on his help.

"For Christmas? That's two days away. I didn't think you and your mom were on the best terms."

**oooooo**

Jesse sighed and shrugged his shoulders. "I think my mom is ill. I do need to go back and check on her. I will not be able to get a flight out there this late, though."

"Then I'll personally book you on the first one I can get. But you are going, Jesse. No arguments." Mark gave Jesse a serious look that surprised him. It felt good to be cared about.

"Thank you Mark." It was all Jesse could say. Amilie had been quiet after Jesse had told her about his mom, she was now holding her coffee mug tightly. "Are you ok Amilie?"

She didn't answer.

**oooooo**

Amilie didn't realize how close Jesse was to her heart in some ways. They both had mothers in the mid-west and now her thoughts were traveling back to that ranch and to her mother, her mother crying and sobbing.

"_Amilie, I can't believe it…I can't." Her mother was in the barn holding Amilie's husband in her arms bloody. "Amilie, why did you do it?"_

"Amilie?" The voice sounded like it was in a tunnel, something touched her arm and she jumped sharply. Mark's face came into view and then blurred slightly before her world started to go black. Then she lost everything.


	9. Memories

A/N: This is the last chapter for a little while. Have any ideas about where to go? Do you want to see Jesse with his mother? More of the love triangle? Maybe some of what is going on in Iwoa? Let me know. I'm at a block!

**Chapter 9-Memories**

Mark caught the woman before she hit the tile kitchen floor. "Jesse, hurry, lets get her to the couch." Jesse stood, shocked, and reached under her legs lifting Amilie's lower portion while Mark lifted the upper half. They carried her into the living room and laid her on the couch. Jesse picked up a magazine on the coffee table and started fanning her as Mark elevated her head. "I'll run and get some ice packs." Jesse nodded. Mark felt safe with leaving her in Jesse's hands. He was a good doctor. Amilie had no head injury, no sigh of a seizure it appeared to Mark that she had only fainted. _But why?_ That is what Mark wanted to know.

Ice packs in hand he rushed into the living room and put one under her head and the other under her shirt. He noticed Amilie's eye lashes flickering and then she finally opened them.

"Mom?" Amilie's voice was very soft that Mark almost didn't hear it.

"Amilie, its Mark. You fainted." He saw her turned toward him then staring at him confused. Mark knew it was very important to tell a disoriented person where they were and what had happened to them. Their minds tended to be so confused that when they opened their eyes again it was like coming from a dream and not knowing where you were or if you were still asleep. Amilie tried to sit up and Jesse gently pressed her back onto the cough.

"I don't think so. Let us doctors take care of you." Jesse smiled at her.

"I'll run to get my bag." Mark told Jesse and the young man nodded. He was having his suspicions about what had happened to Amilie as he got his bag. She could be daydreaming literally and come across another nightmare. Mark was beginning to wonder if some of these dreams were really dreams at all. He came back into the living room and Jesse and Amilie were talking in hushed tones and when he came into the room they stopped. The look on Jesse's face was a concerned one.

"Can you sit up, Amilie?" Mark took out his stethoscope and placed it on her elbow and his fingers on his palm. He counted on his watch her pulse and it seemed fine. "Looks like you are ok. What happened?"

Amilie didn't answer right away, she glanced at Jesse then looked back at Mark. "I was thinking about my mother when Jesse mentioned his." She paused stared at her feet. "I was in the barn and my mother was there with me. She was holding my dead husband. Then she asked me, 'Amilie, why did you do it?' Then I felt like I was falling asleep."

Mark saw the woman was visibly shaking. "Jesse get her a blanket." The doctor got up to grab one from the bedroom. "Amilie, are you sure you are telling us the truth about what happened that night?"

"Yes. Of course I am. I don't remember a thing about going out to the barn and talking to my mother." She paused then a look of being hurt came on her. "You think these are memories? You think I killed my husband?"

"No. I'm just saying that I think something happened that night that you may be trying to forget. What order your mind plays the past could very well be false, or not what it seems."

**oooooo**

Jesse grabbed the blanket and returned to them, gently wrapping Amilie in the quilt and holding her slightly to stop her shaking. It seemed that Mark and her had been having a serious conversation when he had intruded.

"Mark, I don't know what happened anymore. I don't even know how to fix these problems. I didn't have these dreams until I came here." She was sounded desperate for the older doctor to understand her.

"Amilie, I never said I know what is going on either. I'm just saying that maybe we should go back there and find out." Mark's eyes were pleading ones. Jesse already knew what Amilie was feeling. He had gone through a similar experience before.

"Amilie," Jesse rubbed her shoulder. "Please, let Mark help. One time I thought I was having a repressed memory that…" this was going to sound stupid to her. "That aliens had abducted me. At first I didn't want to let people help me figure out what really happened and it turned out awful." Mark reached over and put a hand on Jesse's shoulder. Amilie looked down, then nodded.

"I do want to know what happened. I'm just…" her eyes became very sad and it tore at Jesse's heart. "I'm just scared about what the truth could mean."

"I know you, Amilie. You aren't capable of anything like that.." It was a stern statement that Jesse felt confident about. He didn't know what was happening in his family, but now he felt better knowing that if Mark and Amilie were in Iowa his support system was closer.

**Oooooo**

Steve never felt the same on Christmas day as he did when he was a kid. When he was young, he would be up bright and early and under the Christmas tree opening his gifts before his dad and sister were awake. But now, all he wanted to do was sleep in and maybe hit some waves after breakfast. A day surfing would be just the holiday he needed.

It would be an even nicer holiday if Amilie would go surfing with him. The woman mystified him. His father had a booked a flight for the three of them and Jesse to fly to Iowa after the holiday and another flight for Jesse to continue on home to Minnesota. These dreams Amilie was having concerned everyone at the moment. It would be nice to put her mind at ease so that she might find a place in the country that she would feel comfortable with. Steve was hoping that place would be Malibu.

He couldn't help his attraction to her. She had a refreshing personality, a girl who didn't play silly mind games but lived her life down to earth. Amilie was a taste of the country coming to the city, a taste that Steve had enjoyed greatly, a taste he wanted to try again if he could. He wondered if she felt the same with him, that they had seemed to click that night on the beach, and that he cared enough to wait till she was ready to take the next move...

_Wait a minute..._ What was he kidding? The woman was going through a traumatic situation, and all he could think about was getting her to say yes to dinner with him. He was low.

Steve put his shirt on and some trunks before heading outside to look at the beach. The sun was hot, a weird feeling for some on Christmas day but it was normal for Steve. The beach sand was starting to warm up under his feet and the waves were perfect today for a ride. He heard laughing up stairs from the house and it quirked his interest. Steve climbed the outside stairs two at a time until he got to the deck. Inside the house Jesse was sitting at the breakfast table eating eggs, bacon, and pancakes that obviously his father had made and sitting next to him laughing was Amilie. Steve opened the door and came in. "Jess, I didn't know you were coming over."

"Me either." Jesse smiled at him. "Somebody called into the hospital and had me replaced for the day… I worked a long shift last night." Steve looked over at his father coming into the room with more pancakes. He could guess where the call had come from.

"Jesse you shouldn't have to work every holiday." Mark smiled. "Steve! Good morning. Just in time… these are fresh." His father lifted the pancakes he was holding and put them on the table. Steve took a seat on the other side of Amilie and took three pancakes with his fork.

"I thought I'd go surfing today…" Steve glanced over at Jesse and smiled.

"Surfing? Sounds good to me. Amilie was telling me about how you were teaching her some pointers." Jesse smirked and Steve blushed. The lesson hadn't gone entirely as planned. He had been showing her some basics of surfing awareness and learning to pick a wave when he had felt something bump him under the water and knock him off his surfboard. At first he claimed it was a large fish until Amilie had pulled up a lost boat buoy.

"Yea… he fell off when the buoy spooked him." Amilie teased.

"That's not true. It must have popped up from being attached to an anchor or something. It hit my board pretty hard." Steve tried to recover.

"Sure it did." Jesse laughed and even Steve's father's smile touched his ears. But it was worth the embarrassment to see Amilie's smile and hear her laugh. Her accent even extended to her giggling, and it charmed Steve.

"Jesse, did your mother call back?" Mark asked and Jesse glanced at his food and paused before answering.

"Yes. I told her I'm getting a flight out there soon. She wouldn't tell me anything over the phone. Just that she was glad I was coming." The young doctor started eating again, and Steve frowned slightly. He was a bit worried about Jesse. Ever since his father had told him about Jesse's mom it gave him a sharp knot in his stomach. Steve lost his mother to cancer and it must be even harder for Jesse because this would be the first loss in his family if something were to go wrong. Jesse had always had his mother his whole life. Sometimes Steve had to think really hard about what his mother sounded like or even looked like from his childhood memories.

"That is good to hear." Steve watched Jesse put two more pancakes on his plate and Amilie looked at him funny.

"Gosh Jesse, how much are you going to eat?" She pushed his shoulder. "That's your fifth one."

"Don't let his size fool you…" Steve laughed.

"Yea," Mark smiled. "When Jesse comes to eat I have to make enough to feed a football team."

"Hey! I'm a—" Jesse was cut off by Steve.

"Don't use the 'I'm a growing boy' routine." He took a bite of his pancakes watching as the doctor glared at him. Amilie was giggling again.


	10. Canceled

A/N: Sorry it is taking me so long to post. I have two chapters finished. I've been dealing with a lot of things in my personal life. My brother passed away a couple months ago and it's been weighing on me hard. I've decided to write in memory of everyone who has experienced cancer, whether they are going through it or have someone they love going through it. Anyway... I hope you enjoy the next few chapters and I plan to write more!

**Chapter 10-Canceled**

Amilie jumped when the turbulence shook the plane. Her second flight was much rougher than her first time flying.

"We apologize for the bouncy ride, folks, we are starting our descent now into the Boise Airport." The flight attendant announced over the PA system.

"It's the snow..." Mark commented to her, pointing out the window from his window seat. Amilie leaned over Mark to peek outside. It didn't look good. The snow was so thick that she could barely see a few feet in front of her. There was a small glowing light in the distance, a bulb from the wing that blinked on and off.

"Don't worry... they always say it is safer to fly than to ride in a car." Steve said next to her. She looked over at him and smiled slightly, though she was still heavily concerned. The plane shook again and startled a lot of the passengers. It was almost as if they dropped several feet rapidly. Amilie heard Jesse moan behind them. He was sitting in the middle seat between two other passengers behind them. When Amilie looked back she noticed he didn't look too well.

"You ok, Jesse?" she asked.

"Yeah..." He flashed her a smile. "I just need to sit still once we set on the ground. Just a little woozy."

When the plane finally set its feet on the ground the relief was evident over the passengers. Several parents kissed the top of their children's head and rubbed their backs. Many of them had been frightened by the sharp movements of the plane.

"Please wait until the plane has come to full and complete stop before unbuckling your seat belts. Electronic devices may be turned on..." Amilie half-listened to the attendants as she looked around her feet to gather her things. She couldn't wait to finally be off the plane. "We are now being informed that several flights are being canceled. If you had a connecting flight please make sure to check the nearest stations for flight information. We can help you reschedule flights and also inform your options at the Delta information stations located..."

"What?" Jesse's voice in behind her. His tone was a sorrowful one. "Oh great..."

"Don't worry yet Jess, lets get out of here and look at the situation." Mark said.

oooooo

Steve helped Amilie with her bags from the upper compartment as they exited the plane. The airport seemed to be in a fit of chaos as they entered it. The reader boards all glowed red with each flight blinking the word "canceled". Jesse slowly made his way to the board and looked for his connecting flight number.

"Canceled..." His face dropped. Steve had never seen his friend so distressed before. His father had filled him in on a little bit of the situation. Jesse's mom wasn't doing so well and it was a great stress on Jesse right now. Steve didn't find the change in Jesse's feelings toward his mom strange at all considering the circumstance. There were several times Steve had wished he could have gotten his mom back just to tell her one more time that he loved her and cared about her. Jesse had been living so disconnected from his family that Steve was sure his friend was feeling some regret. While Steve didn't know what Jesse's mother suffered from, he knew that any time a family member was hurt or sick it was a tough feeling, especially being so far away.

"Jess, how about you call your family and let them know you will be delayed." Mark patted Jesse gently on the back and he nodded. The man slipped away for a quiet area and Mark sighed frowning at Steve. "I overheard someone say there may not be any flights leaving for a couple days. The snow storm is coming in for a long haul."

"Do you think he will get home in time... how bad is the situation." Steve was feeling out his father's impression of Jesse's conversation with him several days ago.

"Honestly Steve, I'm not sure. Jesse says his mother is acting very strangely and from what I know of her that doesn't sound like a good sign. She could have days or years depending on her tactics to get Jesse home."

"I wish she wasn't so vague in her description of her condition. I don't like seeing Jesse this way." Steve sighed, noticed out of the corner of his eye Amilie on the phone by the ladies room.

"There are two reason I feel patients are not forthcoming to their relatives. One is they don't want to worry them, and the other is that they can't accept their condition themselves and have trouble expressing it to others." Mark shared a look with his son. The silent conversations they could have without talking was a gift between father and son.

"Mark," Amilie was walking towards them putting her phone in her pocket. "First off... the signal here sucks... second, I got a hold of my mamma. She is coming to get us. Do you think Jesse needs a ride and place to settle, too?"

"Actually, Amilie, I think we should plan on it for now. But let us get a hotel..."

"I wouldn't hear of it. You'll stay with me. I have a big ranch house and honestly, it's unnerving being there by myself. Please, let me return the favor and keep you up for awhile." Amilie smiled and Steve felt his heart beat a bit faster. She sure had one of those smiles that could get her eyes to sparkle and felt truly genuine. Steve let himself look.

"How about I head to baggage claim and get our checked luggage."

oooooooo

"Mom, what is going on?" Jesse was frustrated. His mother's tone of voice changed drastically when he told her he would be delayed. "I'm obviously coming home, like you wanted. Why are you so upset?"

"Jesse, it's not you. I know you can't control the weather." His mother sighed. "I just... I just miss you." Jesse was caught off guard.

"I miss you, too." He said being very careful with his tone of voice. Something in his mother's voice made him want to cry and he couldn't place it. "What is wrong? Please tell me." It was quiet on the other end of the phone for several minutes and Jesse almost thought he had lost the connection. The phone had cut out on several occasions. "Mom?"

"I'm here. Jesse... if you really want to know now... I'm suffering from cancer." Her voice broke slightly and Jesse sat stunned.

"Cancer?" He repeated. "How long have you known about this? What is your condition? Have you started therapy? I don't understand why you didn'-"

"Jesse." Her mother's voice sounded strong when she said his name. What did she look like right now? Jesse couldn't think of his mother as anything else then this strong woman with her hands on her sides many times glaring at him in disapproval. "I know you are wanting answers to your questions. Right now, it's hard to talk about it..."

Jesse felt his eyes water slightly to his surprise. His mother's voice, her tone, it wasn't angry, or sarcastic, it was... it was sad. "I found out four months ago... I didn't have any symptoms, none of the usual signs. I went in for a gallbladder issue and came out to the news. I have stage four ovarian."

"Stage four?" The shock was immense. "How did they not-"

"Jesse, you know as well as I do that doctors are not all knowing. We try our best but sometimes there isn't anything we can do to stop the inevitable."

"Are you on treatments? How about surgery?"

"Jesse... it's everywhere. It was everywhere before we discovered it. It got into my lymph nodes and spread to the rest of my body. The chemo they've had me on seems to help a little but it isn't keeping up with the cancer and it's spreading. Jesse... I've exhausted all my options. I just want to see you again and spend my last days with my family."

Jesse couldn't talk. He had the phone up to his ear and felt like his throat had dried. He was holding back the watery barrier of tears in his eyes and blinked them back several times. His heart felt like it was literally turning upside in his chest. "Mom, I'm coming home. I promise. As soon as I get a flight, I'll be on it."

"Thank you." She was sounding tired on the phone Jesse knew he should let her go.

"I'll see you soon. Ok? Take care of yourself."

"I will." She murmured.

"And Mom?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you."


	11. Back to the Ranch

"Mrs. Bailey, it's a pleasure to meet you." Mark smiled at the older woman as she opened the SUV's back for their luggage.

"Dr. Sloan, I assume. I guess I have you to thank for bring Amilie home. I was sure worried about her over there in California with no family close by." She led Steve load the luggage as she turned to look Mark over suspiciously.

"No need to worry. She was surrounded by doctors and police officers the whole time. Safest person in the neighborhood, I would think." Mark chuckled at his joke but it was obvious that Amilie's mom didn't find it funny. In fact she was taken back by the comment in a way that confused Mark. She seemed upset or even scared at what he said. Strange.

The SUV was roomy, even with the five of them. Amilie sat in the front and Jesse was forced to sit between Steve and Mark because of his size. Even though it seemed reasonable that the smallest of them would sit in the middle, the SUV was spacious enough that they had plenty of room.

Jesse had been unusually quiet since meeting up with them at baggage claim. Mark didn't press the information out of him. The young man seemed preoccupied at the time, and it was probably better Mark leave him to sort out his own thoughts before engaging in conversation. It didn't seem appropriate to speak anyway, because Amilie and her mother were in a very interesting conversation for themselves.

"How was your trip?" Her mother asked, watching the roads closely as they worked their way through the snow.

"It was good. It's a lot better weather in Cali then here, in fact I learned to surf." Amilie didn't show too much excitement it seemed she was walking on egg shells in responding to her mother.

"Oh really... sounds relaxing. I've been taking care of the ranch while you were gone. That wasn't as relaxing." Her voice seemed upset.

"I thought Jake was helping you out. He does most of the hard labor on the ranch since Robert died anyway..." it was a cutting remark.

"Oh sure Jake helps out. But it isn't his ranch. It's yours and you need to take responsibility with it."

Amilie looked back at Mark and her smile was non-existent. "I'm thinking about selling the ranch, Mamma. I can't afford to take care of her anymore."

"I understand..." Mrs. Bailey went quiet for awhile, and it sank in that something wasn't right. Mark could tell that Amilie's mother really wanted the best for her, but wasn't sure what Amilie needed. It was a common mistake he felt parents often made with their children. Especially, those whose recently been through a traumatic situation. "So tell me, Dr. Sloan," Mrs. Bailey continued directing herself to Mark. "What brings you and ya friend's out here?"

"Please, call me Mark." He smiled at her through the rear view mirror. "Jesse here is on his way to his mother's. His connecting flight was canceled. Steve and I are here for Amilie. She wants to show us the ranch. Perhaps help her decide whether she can handle the land herself." Mark wasn't entirely forthright about why they were there but he wasn't sure if Amilie wanted her mother to know about her nightmares and the real reason they came.

"Well, that is very kind of you, Mark. But I'm sure Amilie and I can handle the ranch. Where do I need to drop you folks off at?"

"My place, Mamma. They are staying with me." Amilie got a look from her mother that wasn't pleasant. "They are my guests, and I want them spending time with me."

"I see." was all her mother said. The rest of the ride to the ranch was quiet.

ooooooo

The ranch house was pleasant looking, but definitely had been through some rough winters. Steve and Jesse unpacked the SUV and Amilie took them inside to show them where to put things. Mrs. Bailey had been standing next to Mark and indicating that she wished to speak to him, privately.

"Mark, if your plan is to convince my daughter to move from here to your sunny California I won't be happy." She carried a threatening tone in her voice.

"I promise you, it is not my intent to direct your daughter with what she should do with her life at all. I believe she is old enough to make her own decisions, and that it is a good thing she is thinking of herself at this time in her grieving process." He was serious. If Amilie was ready to move on, her mother and family should allow her that privilege.

"Is that a hint?" She looked at him studying his expression.

"Depends, do you feel you are not letting her make those decisions?" Mark remarked. He knew he wasn't making any friends with Mrs. Bailey but at least he would she would see his point of view on the state of her daughter.

"I don't know who you are... but I'm going to warn you, doctor..." She stared him in the eye. "If anything happens to my daughter and you are involved in it, I will take the intuitive to take care of you..." Mark could see the seriousness in her eyes and voice and it make him flinch. "if you know what I mean."

oooooo

As the SUV pulled out, Steve watched as Amilie visibly relaxed. "I'm sorry about my mother. She wasn't very happy about me leaving Idaho for a vacation. I think she is taking out that anger on my guests. Please make yourself at home." She pointed to the kitchen table as she walked over to the fridge. "I forgot I cleaned everything out before I left. I have nothing but baking soda in this fridge. I'm sure I have more in the freezer."

"Food sounds good. Let me give you a hand." Steve stood to help the beauty as she pulled some chicken from the freezer.

"You hungry Dr. Sloan? Jesse?" Amilie said turning on the stove.

"No thank you." Jesse commented sitting at the kitchen table. Everyone in the kitchen looked over at him.

"Not hungry Jess?" Steve was surprised. "You feeling ok?"

"Yeah Jesse, from the moment I met you I've never seen you turn down something to eat." Amilie meant to be funny, but Steve wasn't joking, something was wrong with Jesse. He was pretty sure it had to do with the phone call he made to his family.

"I'm fine." Jesse rubbed his face "It must be the flight here. Made my stomach upset. I think I may head to bed for now, if that is alright."

"Sure is, Jess." Amilie said quietly and all three of them watched the young man slowly ascend the stairs to the bedroom given to him.

oooooo

The snow had lightened slightly outside, and Steve watched it out the window with a cup of hot chocolate in his hand. He sighed at the sight. It wasn't very often that it snowed in California but every time it did, it made him feel warm inside. The snow was very beautiful, it came down a lot more elegantly than rain and made the trees and landscape have a surreal layer of comfort rolled out on it. As if God laid down a fluffy comforter or the clouds decided to rest on the ground. His father had already headed off to bed and Amilie was just rinsing the last dish in the kitchen.

"Beautiful isn't it?" She smiled as she finished and came to stand by him.

"It sure is." He said looking at her instead of the window. Yes, he was flirting a little. Amilie blushed and put a hand on his shoulder and the both watched the snow fall together.

Steve was enjoying the moment and put a hand on the small of her back. He planned on maybe asking Amilie if she would be interested in a walk until something caught his eye. It was hard to tell exactly what it was but it looked like a light out in the snow. A flash light maybe, it came and went, very faintly in the distance. "Do you see that?" Steve pointed and Amilie gazed where he was pointed.

oooooo

A light. It was far away and it was coming closer, closer, the sounds of a tractor were heard, getting louder and louder. It was coming... coming closer and hitting the doors of the barn opening them. There in it's immense grandeur the tractor, large and alive. It was coming.. coming for what? It was coming for her! She tried to run but tripped and fell to the ground, her arms and elbows scratching and bruising. The tractor was getting closer, there was no escape. Suddenly it was on top of her, tearing up her legs and body, blood splattering everywhere. _Oh no... please... no... stop!_

oooooo

One second they were looking out the window and the other Amilie was passed out in his arms. He didn't know what happened only that she was shaking and moaning. Soon her screams got loud and woke his father and Jesse which he was grateful for. They both came running down the stairs, Jesse's medical bag already in his hand.

"What happened?" Mark asked as he knelt down next to Amilie.

"I don't know... one minute we were watching the snow, the second she was out like this."

oooooo

"Jesse, get some cold water." Jesse nodded at Mark's command. Amilie was starting to come around as Mark pulled out his stethoscope and listened to her heart beat and taking her pulse. Amilie opened her eyes...

"Oh no... please... no... stop!" She was breathing heavy as she stared up at the faces above her. Mark pulled away immediately, thinking she wanted him to stop what he was doing.

"Amilie, we are just trying to see if you are ok." Mark's voice was calming to her and she settled down a bit. Jesse brought the water over and handed it to her. "Sit her up Steve."

Steve did just that and let her take several drinks of the cold water and catch her breath. She seemed relieved as she got more and more familiar with her surroundings. "I'm sorry, I don't know what happened. It was so real."

"What was real?" Jesse asked getting closer to her and rubbing her back.

"I had this dream... this awful awful dream... I was in the barn... there was a tractor.. I couldn't get away." Mark frowned and took her hand.

"Amilie why don't we get you off the floor." Jesse and Steve lifted her to a chair sitting by the fireplace and wrapped her in a blanket. She nodded her thanks, continuing to drink the water given to her.

"We need to figure out why you having these flash backs." Steve said, his heart still racing from having her have her seizure-like vision in his arms.

"You're sure they are flash backs?" Amilie said, her voice shaking.

"I'm positive now..." Mark sighed.


End file.
